Could have been good.
You would have been better off writing your own shitty poem. I know exactly what kind of statuses this poem was based off of and it ruined it for me. The "poem" is tacky and feels like it was written by a 4th grader (if it were actually written by a 4th grader, it might have been effective.)
The only problem I had with it was the storyline, the rest could have been polished up, but it wasn't terrible.